Sassinatrix
by Max Rasgar
Summary: Who knew that a game of darts with a side of hot chocolate at Granny's would lead to this because Emma sure didn't. [future fic]


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters contained in this story, thus I'm not making any bank by doing this.

A/N: As previously warned this is a future fic, past season 5 whatever, so that makes it extremely safe to say this is AU/canon divergent, etc. This is my first and only attempt at writing in Emma's POV in the first person. My success or failure doesn't matter since this is a sort of Regina appreciation shtick (in its own 'Swanly' way) so I'll manage just fine either way.

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 **=-=-=-=-=-=-=[ Sassinatrix ]=-=-=-=-=-=-=**

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'Thwap!'

My first dart lands in the second outer ring on the cracked off-white nine zone on the dart board at Granny's. I'd never played darts before I started working at the Sheriff's station; it was Graham's hobby not mine, and I still can't believe that shit threw a dart at my head. But over the last few months, after my life decided to take a right turn down simple street I took up the distraction; a slow day is a slow day. I took down the damned dartboard at the station for the longest time, just a little while after Graham's death until I just couldn't stand to look at it, but its back up now.

"I guess you're still warming up?" Ruby says and I look to over to see my friend giving me a wide smile that I've maybe thought about kissing at one time or another. "So what'll it be, Sheriff?"

"I needs my chocolate fix, doctor."

"So your usual," Ruby says with a laugh because my desperate need to use improper grammar as charm does work occasionally. "Anything else?"

"Nope, that'll do for now."

Ruby smiles at me again and then sash shays away in her little red short-shorts. I wonder how she would react if I wrote her a ticket for public indecency as a joke of course. I mean I don't look at the view like a hungry wolf but I'm not exactly offended by it either.

"Oh! And double up on the cinnamon Ruby." I shout after her. "I need that too. It's been one of those days and it's going to end with it still being one of those days."

I picture Ruby smiling at my silliness as I line up my next shot. The dart pressed between my thumb and index finger is bent on the tip a little but I think I can make that work to my advantage.

'Thunk!'

The dart sinks in on the pointed end of sweet sixteen caked in white. I came here on my lunch break to get away from more than just the potential to get papercuts and to go hoarse because I've had choice words at volume for my slow ass computer.

"One hot chocolate with double whipped cream and extra cinnamon." Ruby says while sitting my drink down on the small rounded square table next to where I'm having my fun. "So where's Henry and Regina today?"

"Henry's probably scaring my mother into a near death experience practicing for his drivers test." I say while spinning my next dart around between my fingers. "And I believe Regina is doing her usual thing, whatever the hell that is these days."

"O-okay."

"What's the problem?"

"Nothing, I got a customer." Ruby says while eyeing me closely before she struts off; she gossips too much with her BFF who is also my mom.

I know what she was getting at but I don't know where people get their insane ideas from, even if they are true to a degree. Regina is another reason why I came here to play darts; I thought it would clear my head, but I'm gonna keep playing even though it's not working. I spin the dart around in between my fingers until the red fins on the back end blur, before I line up my next shot.

'Thwap!'

Another good shot just shy of the little red dot that's center mast. I sigh because a certain person to who I've tried not to think about today is making a comeback thanks to Ruby's equivalent of hypnotic suggestion. Shit, Regina herself is a hypnotic suggestion.

The way she walks sometimes puts my mind in overdrive until I feel like I'm going to hit the metaphorical wall at a hundred miles an hour. I know people think I've secretly held my water in about being hard up for her but they're wrong, sort of. I'm not blind or dead so yeah when I saw my kid's adoptive mother for the first time I had a 'pause for appreciation' moment. And moments just like that have happened a fair bit over the last five years now and all I can think about on the odd day is where has the time gone?

'Thunk!'

I mean how many more times can a woman be cursed? Recovering Dark One here or Dark Swan if you preferred; please someone else pick since I don't want to anymore.

'Thud!'

Regina's mouth is about as venomous as most snakes. I mean all that crap she spewed about how I ruined her life and that there's no coming back from it was and always will be some ripe as fuck bullshit. I mean who died and made Robin Hood the Prince of Regina's Snatch. Why is he so goddamn special? I really don't care for the man and I can tell you it has absolutely nothing to do with Regina. If she didn't exist I still wouldn't walk across the road to piss on him if he was on fire. I wish the prick had stayed in Camelot where he belongs which is far away from Regina. All he's ever done is bring her down and if that's all he's good for then what good is he?

I roll my eyes and sit my small handful of remaining darts down on the table and go for my hot chocolate; it should be drinkable now since Ruby knows I likes it extra hot. I use my finger to swipe off and sample some of the whip cream and cinnamon because I'm getting to the age where drinking with a mustache is something to be done in the privacy of your home not in public. Regina still calls me a child sometimes but at least during my dark days I magic'd myself out from under my parent's roof. I know it was past time and I took the easy way out. I mean could you imagine me-not all Darko'ed out of course-telling Mary Margaret a.k.a Snow White that I'm moving out? It would be like telling her I set a baby birds nest on fire for kicks.

I look around the diner while sipping my hot chocolate and its busy. Granny peddles her wares with the best of them and yes I would do unspeakable things to a dwarf for her grilled cheese and onion rings. The quaint picture of small town life though isn't enough to chase out a certain person. The one thing I've never understood about the most hard-headed, bitch in heels known as Regina is how she would fall all over herself for some man that cutesy little pixie grains said was her 'soul mate'. Maybe once upon a time in a land far, far, far away he might've been a...nope scratch that shit. Regina has been fucked over so many times she may as well be the village bicycle and that means Robin will be riding in the front basket too.

That mental image makes me gag so I set my drink down on the table and pick up my darts. During the Dairy Queen's curse I knew that Regina would lash out at me the way I wanted her to. I understood that the point of the shattered sight curse was to make people see the worst in the people that they loved most. I knew I could get Regina to hate me but the fact that I meant more to her during that fucked up curse than her precious Robin was something I didn't spend much time thinking about. But then during my time as the Dark One I realized that Hell's home address would freeze over first before Regina would choose someone for a change; someone who is so glad she isn't Robin-Fucking-Hood.

Christ! How the fuck can Regina love a man who got her sister knocked up? Circumstances aside baby making still goes down the same way and his actions don't scream or even whisper: 'I was forced to put it to her against my will'. I swear even in my head it sounds like a bad storyline on a soap opera; only daytime television would cook up a scheme where a woman was in the situation where she could say: 'My sister's baby was fathered by the man I love'. Shit! It sounds like a damn country song too.

'Thwack!'

Maybe I should've asked Elsa to be my girlfriend; she seemed to like me and I liked her, I was sad to see her go back to her kingdom. We had a moment standing at that portal, we had a lot actually and I can say she is the only person who has understood me and held no judgement over me; she was honest too. I wonder if I hadn't been playing around with Hook...you know what fuck it! He was like everyone else; his so called love for me came with conditions and when I failed to live up to them he didn't want me anymore.

I line up the next dart, throw it and it sinks in with a firm 'thud' in the little green circle around the little red promised land. I smile and reach for my half gone hot chocolate that's barely warm now but the cinnamon and chocolate taste will always keep me coming back for more. I set the empty mug back down on the small table and turn back to my dart game.

One thing I will say in favor of my pirate-ex is that he didn't treat me the way Robin treated Regina. Killian wasn't married and he never barged into my home and forced himself on me, or in Regina's case, her vault. God, I wanted to vomit when my mom blurted out the small details she gleaned about the Neanderthal-sounding fucking on a cold, creepy ass stone floor. Robin Hood is about as honorable as a backdoor hustler. Seriously, nothing apparently screams true love to him like commit adultery with me because you make my dick hard. Don't forget about my cursed wife just around the way though, but we can still go all Marvin Gaye and 'get it on'."

'Thwack!' Another dart lands on the pointy end of twenty all dressed in black. Damn, I'm still keeping it real like nobody's business.

Whether I mean to or not occasionally I can't help but think about watching Regina's personal push into devastation on that damned dreamcatcher. I don't think there's any fairy tale stud out there good enough for her; I wonder why having Henry adore her again isn't enough anymore? My cell phone rings but I ignore it. The kid is sixteen now and in another two years I might move on from Storybrooke, living in a land without magic again doesn't sound so bad. My parents will hate it but I'm my own person and this is the modern age; there's a shitload of ways to keep in touch. And it's not running away in my book if you're trying to move on and on top of that most of the views you're stuck with just make you sick.

My sickness got a good foothold that day in Regina's office when instead of the bottle cap opener that I was prowling around for, I found Regina's deleted scene from the storybook all taped up. I couldn't believe my eyes; Regina clearly had a tantrum but changed her mind. I played dumb because it's all I had to go with on the fly since I couldn't really get a grasp onto what I felt, but a lot of things came together for me that day. I hated seeing her get all teared up over him. I was so relieved when Belle and Killian came charging in. I'm glad that's all in the past now.

As of very recently I've decided to stop worrying about whether or not Regina cares about me. I wasn't lying when I told her that I wanted to be friends those few years ago now. Friendship is easier and that way you can't miss what you'll never have; I'm not good enough for her either and I'm okay with it. I don't really have anything left to offer, I already had a kid for her, that and I know she doesn't like the worst parts of me anymore than Killian. I deserve a fresh start and when the time comes I'm going for it with all I have left. My tenure as the Dark One was as liberating as it was a curse.

I take a deep breath and throw the last dart with more force and it lands with a solid 'thwap' right in the aged red bulls-eye. The sight makes me smile because the old dart board doesn't have that many marks on that nickel-sized spot. When you get up close to it you'll see that the wall it hangs on has more tiny holes that circle the board than the board itself.

"I see you've undoubtedly been practicing during office hours, Sheriff Swan."

Is it wrong that I was so lost in my thoughts and in lining up my shot that I failed to hear those heels of hers heralding her arrival?

"My trigger finger doesn't see much action." I say while turning around to face her royal sassiness. "So this is as good as it gets in terms of non-lethal target practice, Madam Mayor."

Regina glares at me blankly for the allotted time as she sees fit and then she softens up, "Come sit with me?"

It's the way she says it that makes me silently comply. Why can't she sound like every other woman on this planet? That voice of hers is a weapon in my opinion; it's even sexy when she has a cold or allergies. Oh shit, shit, shit. She's wearing one of those damn skirts too that look about a size too small for her and that's the only way she wears her shirts that button-up too.

Regina sits down gracefully and I make the mistake of glancing down at the slit up the side of her skirt and the amount of thigh she's showing. Oh God, it's too much, I'm not prepared and I haven't had nearly enough chocolate to take the edge off. So when I sit down next to her on the left my balance is off and the stool tips to the side and takes me with it. Granny's floor is clean but it's sure as shit not soft; this is embarrassing, an image of a sad little turtle on its back pops into my mind.

"Have you been drinking something stronger than root beer today, Emma?"

The laughter coloring her voice and the damn sassy little smirk is just unfair. I may be a hero and all that other crap but the one thing I can guarantee that I'll always accept about myself is I'm a natural klutz. My time on the dark side of the force was my most graceful.

"Sure, why not?" I retort while picking myself up off the floor and then the damned tricky stool. "I mean when I woke up this morning I just stopped and said to myself: I feel like drinking and Sheriffing today."

Regina smiles and it's the smile that makes her sinfully beautiful. It's hard not to think of her as a bad girl, I've always had a weakness for those and bad boys and besides for the most part they never really are as bad as they pretend to be.

"So that's where a bottle of my cider went."

"You got a cider thief?"

I shouldn't be flirting with her; I can't seem to stop doing it though. But can you really blame me when she's being her version of nice.

"Possibly, but the suspect pool is very shallow." Regina says with a grin that makes her look so damn cute. "Henry better not be planning on practicing drinking while practicing driving now, and I seriously doubt your mother was replenishing her stash that she may or may not keep in her lower desk drawer at the school."

I smirk to keep from laughing. Regina is pretty funny in her snarky way.

"And then there's your father and I have it on good authority that he prefers McCutchen, so you see Sheriff all the usual suspects that run in my circle aren't viable."

"In that case maybe you just misplaced this missing bottle of yours." I offer as I slowly sit back down on the stool that bucked me off.

For some reason I want to add that maybe you drank it with Robin and then he fucked you so good you forgot all about it. But I know now that's leftover Dark One talking; it sure left its mark on me in a way I don't think I'll ever shake off unless I cross the town line.

"Maybe you're right, Sheriff." Regina says and then after a minute, "So have you tried getting back together with Captain GuyLiner?"

The way she always had some clever quip ready to go about Killian used to give me hope but I outgrew that in the not so distant past. On a personal note I don't regret the time I spent with Killian, he was an okay fellow, but he had stronger feelings for me than I was ever going to for him. I got too good at telling people what they wanted to hear and I really got fucking great at lying to myself.

"No, I haven't and I'm not going to. Killian wasn't 'it' for me." I say while leaning against the countertop on both elbows. "I can't live my life like it's a fairytale, I don't want to."

Regina stays quiet and I wonder if my words bothered her. I mean they could be applied to her but that's not why I said it.

"What about your promise to bring back the happy endings?" Regina finally says minus her usual sting. "How could you possibly deliver on that if you haven't the stomach for it anymore?"

I chuckle, "That promise was for all the people who believed in me and when I became the Dark One I had my eyes opened again."

"What do you mean by that?"

I sigh and focus all of my attention on the countertop's pattern or rather finding out if it has one, no matter how small.

"My plan to free myself came with a hefty price tag as you know because nobody saves me but me." I say while scratching my thumbnail on the countertop. "You went back to hating me all full steam ahead as much as you did when I first blew into town. But I never went back to hating you, pissed at you yeah, but hating you not really. Yeah, I played your sister against you as a distraction; it was fun and I wanted to see if Zelena could let go of all the bullshit and be your family. Hell, you're Auntie Regina now."

I stop myself from saying anymore, even though it feels like Regina's eyes are trying to bore a hole in the side of my face. I thought reaching out to Zelena would be worthwhile since the both of us were orphans, but she thought it was all about me being Dark or whatever until she realized the truth in my intentions.

"Are you trying to tell me that you were still attempting to give me my promised happy ending?"

Regina is perceptive and yes being the Dark One didn't stop me from trying, but at some point you do have to wake up and smell what you're shoveling.

I slap the countertop and get up off the stool as smoothly as I can, "I'm saying that my lunch break is over and now it's time for me to do a fun thing that I like to call patrol, all the cool kids are doing it, so have a good afternoon Madam Mayor."

As I approach the front door I grab my black leather coat off the coat rack and put it on. The Dark One had a flair for dressing and some of those instincts made itself at home, though I've always preferred cool leather jackets long before I went dark. I chose the almost white blonde hair because it reminded me of Elsa and I thought it looked good on her. I pull my back to regular long blonde hair out from underneath my coat and then zip my coat up since it's about as warm as a deep freezer outside. I cheat somedays and use my magic to warm up; it's faster than waiting for the heater to work in the Bug or the outdated cruisers.

"Emma, wait."

I've heard those words before and said in exactly the same way.

"You want to do a ride along?" I say while turning to face someone that I've grown to love in so many different ways. I'm going to have to let most of that die eventually and then bury it. "I'm game if you are but the last time you rode with me, in an official sense, I got the impression you thought it was snoozeville population one bored mayor."

Those intense brown eyes of hers could charm anything and I stupidly look right at them. A brief lull falls between us which ends up causing a certain Mayor to eyeball me in an all too familiar way.

"You've gotten even mouthier." Regina says and then to my surprise she grabs my forearm and starts pulling me out the front door with her.

Any other time I would feel the undeniable need to be my prickly self but not now. So I let Regina manhandle me a little out of Granny's front door before I put a stop to it, not roughly though. When the door slams behind us I remove Regina's hand on my forearm.

"And in return for your observation I could say that you've gotten more handsy, Madam Mayor."

Regina scoffs, "Oh stop it, Emma."

And that's where I'm calling it on the 'fun' for now because she's actually getting irritated with me. I can tell by the sound of her voice, so I roll my eyes at her and start walking towards one of Storybrooke's trusty UPS brown and white cruisers of the law.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Swan."

I chuckle under my breath because I am and I'm going to keep doing so and then I'm going to drive away from her too.

"Swan!"

I pull the handle up on the Sheriff's cruisers door and open it. During the few feet I had to walk I would have been deaf to have missed the furiously steady clacks of the high heels following behind me. So I look up over the top of the car to see a thoroughly irritated Regina glaring daggers, axes and pirate cutlass supreme's at me from the other side.

"Can I help you?"

Regina inhales sharply and I watch that vein on her forehead get really fuckin' big, "Emma, I'm going to strangle you and then throw a fireball at you for good measure if you don't stop and listen to me."

I sigh and roll my eyes, "Then get in the damn car, Your Majesty."

Regina once again tries to light me on fire with her eyes via her mind while she yanks the passenger door open and gets in the cruiser; slamming the door afterwards of course.

"This should be more fun than spending time alone with a dirty magazine." I say to no one in particular before I get in the car too and shut my door as I normally would.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear your little comment a moment ago." Regina says as I turn the keys in the ignition to start the car.

The heater comes to life which is shocking; today must've been one of those days where it got up on the right side of the bed. I still feel like saying: 'it's alive, it's alive' though. I guess when I fell off the stool I broke my filter.

"Emma, I want to have this conversation with you calmly which will be a challenge for me and right now you're not helping."

"And what conversation is that exactly?" I say while turning the plastic knob for the heat all the way into the red zone.

Regina sighs and fidgets with her skirt; pulling the end of it down over her knees.

"The one where I tell you that Robin and I are no longer together and that I forgive you for hurting our son, for showing him what heartache feels like at a young age. Basically, I've forgiven you for everything you did in order to win your freedom from the curse you took on my behalf."

I move my hand off the heater knob and sit up straight in my seat, "Is that all?"

Riling up Regina is even easier now and it's even more entertaining for me. Her reactions are predictable but the slap to my cheek is something I didn't see coming from her-a punch would've been more like it. Not that I've ever wanted a punch to the face from her.

"You idiot."

My cheek stings but my temper doesn't rise because of it, or at least not much going by my usual standards.

"So you broke up with your boyfriend because he has a kid with your sister." I say while rubbing my freshly slapped cheek. "Congrats, on finally having the good sense to cut loose what I believe your mother called 'a married, moralizing sap'."

Shit! I didn't actually mean to say that last part. I saw that memory of Regina's too when I was loading up my dreamcatchers. I actually liked Cora when she said that but that's the only thing. I'm not surprised when another hard slap lands on my upper arm this time since I'm still massaging my cheek.

"Anything else you feel like saying to me, Emma?" Regina says sounding three parts pissed and one part breathless. "I finally get it you know. Robin was what you wouldn't hesitate to call 'a forest born loser that made Hook look like the catch of the day'."

I roll my eyes because I don't know if those are the words I would've used since they sound more like Regina's brand of sass. Honestly, all I can think about this second is that I may have to use some magic if I end up with bruises later on. Regina might be small but she packs a wallop. I stop rubbing my cheek and lower my arm; on second thought it might've been a bad idea to drop my shield.

"Robin wasn't good to you." I finally say while gripping the steering wheel with both hands. At the same time I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the rearview mirror and my right cheek is bright red. "He certainly didn't understand you; I don't see how he ever could."

The car goes quiet except for the sound of the heater's fan blowing lukewarm air on us. I'm ready to poof myself the hell out of this car and into David's back at the station when I feel Regina's hand on mine; she gently pulls my right hand off the steering wheel.

"Emma...I'm sorry for slapping you."

I start to make a joke, tell her it's alright but not to make a habit of it, but she puts that thought out to pasture when she takes my hand in hers. Fuck! I've landed in an alternate reality.

"What are you doing? We don't do PDA."

"Must you be so confrontational?"

"You did not just say that, Regina."

Madam Mayor laughs and then she scoots closer to me. The cruiser has this stupid bench style seat and no console to speak of. The siren, lights and the few other bells and whistles are mounted to the dash. I may have a heart attack depending on what happens in the next thirty seconds or so; it feels like she's closing in for the kill, and she's holding onto my hand to keep me from getting away.

"Would you get mad if I kissed you right now, Emma?"

Regina is even more beautiful up close and this is the closest I've been to her unless you count the time I threw her around that hospital supply closet and then pinned her to a locker.

"Is that a Regina Mills certified trick question?" I say with a smirk and Regina matches it with one of her own, but hers are much more outrageously wicked than mine.

"That all depends on you." Regina says darkly while her other hand lands softly on the cheek of mine she didn't slap. "Do you still think I've gone soft? Have you come to believe that I don't know you anymore?"

Her face is so close to mine and her eyes are locked on to my lips, "I hope not." Is all I say before I close the last stretch of distance that exists among us.

I know I'm not exactly good to her either, but I can do better. How hard can it be? We already have a kid together and I do understand her and I've always thought she is special and unique, I even told her so in a rare moment of emotional courage. But right now all I can think is: Hot damn! Regina's mouth is seriously great at something else other than spewing out her trademark sass.

 **=-=-=[ END ]=-=-=**

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 **Soundtrack: ****"Last Summer" by Lost Prophets**

 **Final Words:** **'Dominatrix', is the feminine form of the Latin word 'dominator' which means a ruler or lord and was originally used in a non-sexual sense. My little punned title is also implied in a non-sexual way which should be obvious by now if you've made it this far.**


End file.
